By almost any measure, typical estate planning in this country is a failure.  

A wide majority of Americans have no valid will or trust.  The word on the street is that the process is “cold” and “impersonal.”  Even when clients finally make to the estate planner's office, a shockingly large percentage of tax-sophisticated estate planning documents are prepared and paid for, but are never executed.  “This just does not express what I want to communicate to those we leave behind,” one client lamented as she refused to sign.

“Sterile Legalese”

When the documents are eventually signed, they are often viewed as endless pages of sterile legalese.  One frustrated client, upon reviewing the stack of papers for which he had paid tens of thousands of dollars, observed: “If someone were to rip off the first and last pages of my will or trust, could anyone even tell that it belonged to me?”

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Most estate planning documents, even those written in a plain English format, do very little to convey the real human caring and concerns of the clients for whom they are drafted.  Lost somewhere in all the legalese is the love parents and grandparents feel for their children and grandchildren, the faith they have in their descendants' potential to grow and develop, and the hope they hold for the future.

Long-term Impact

Sadly, many wills and trusts have a damaging and corrosive impact when they are read to the survivors and then implemented.  They spawn litigation, rupture family harmony, and sever relationships.     Initiative and industry are snuffed out, replaced by “affluenza” or an attitude of entitlement or victimhood or irresponsibility.  

Children, grandchildren, and charities, whose lives are often governed by these cold, impersonal, and sterile documents, grow rebellious or resentful.  In time, grandparents are remembered not as helpful and caring but as “grandmonsters” whose icy hands seek to rule from the grave.

The Wrong Questions Yield the Wrong Answers

We in the planning professions are largely to blame for the impersonal nature and the ultimate human failure of the process.  Too often our client conversations start, end, and are centered on the subjects of parental control, tax benefits, and asset protection.   When we ask the wrong questions, we almost always end up with the wrong answers.  The questions we have been asking ourselves and our clients about reducing taxes, avoiding probate, and dividing up assets have clearly not produced desirable results. 

Perhaps we need to start asking ourselves a different set of questions.  Questions like: 

•   What would have to change so that clients would leave the estate planner's office energized, engaged, and optimistic, rather than frustrated, disillusioned, and confused?

•   What are the likely real-world outcomes of the plans we create in the lives of our clients' loved ones, and do those outcomes match our clients' purposes, hopes, and dreams for those they care about most?

•   Is there a way to think afresh about the meaning and purposes of trusts and estate planning, a way that continues to honor the legal roles and relationships yet also transforms the end result into something generative, inspiring, and connective?

•   How can we construct wills and trusts so that both grantors and beneficiaries can be experienced within the documents as real, living, caring, intelligent human beings rather than as objects or infants?

It Starts with a Purposeful Conversation^TM

Given an opportunity, most clients are interested in deeper conversations around the impact of what their wealth is going to do to their children, their grandchildren, and their favorite causes.  They are interested in discussing the “How much is enough?” and “How much is too much?” questions.  They want to know if there is a way they can pass on more than money.  They want what they leave to be a blessing to those they love and not a crippling handicap.

As professionals, we must learn how to ask our clients the right questions and then sit back and listen attentively, generously, and generatively.  We must acknowledge that, notwithstanding our professional expertise, they are the experts on the subject of their lives, their purposes, and their vision for themselves and those they love.  Without access to their expertise, all of ours is nearly always wasted and misdirected.  The quality of our attention and the quality of our questions can produce brilliant thinking in our clients. 

The SunBridge Purposeful Conversations (younger siblings in the Priceless Conversation family) provide the questions and the process for helping clients think clearly about the significant issues underlying their most important estate planning decisions.  The experience is simple, enjoyable, and very gratifying.

Their Words Hold the Answers

From their responses, we can discern the real purposes behind their planning and we can glean the words to express their purposes, hopes, and dreams to trustees and beneficiaries.   The clients' own words and stories are also the best source for the name of the trust, for the lessons and wisdom that should inform trust decision, and for the bedrock principles that should guide the trust through uncharted waters.  With their words and their stories in hand, we're prepared to start creating Purposeful Trusts.

In the development of this Purposeful Trust Planning approach, we have uncovered Seven Secrets that help drive the work to a satisfying and successful conclusion.  Each secret is valuable standing alone, but it's clearly a case of the whole being greater than the sum of the parts.  When they work together as a system, they create synergistic energy.

The Seven Secrets of Purposeful Trust Planning

Here are the seven keys that open the door to a beautiful and meaningful new world of planning for us and our clients.

Scott Farnsworth, Principal, Sunbridge, Inc.

http://www.sunbridgelegacy.com

sunbridge@cfl.rr.com

 

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